Tuesday 10 August 2004

A first kiss

I wrote about my first kiss. It wasn't romantic, really. I wasn't in love with Michelle, wasn't particularly interested in dating her and I don't think she felt much differently. I don't remember what I said the last time I spoke to her, or even when it was. So I'm thinking I want to write about a good kiss.

I kissed Michelle when I was 17 or 18 -- I can't even remember exactly now. Then, one night in early November, when I was 20, I kissed San for the first time.

San and I "met" on Open Diary. She was a favourite of Dave's, and I'd seen her comments on his diary so one day, when I was bored and online in Salt Lake City, I'd started reading her diary. I found San lived in London -- which perhaps sparked an initial interest for me, in that I knew I could see her. Knew there could be something. If I returned from the USA, at any rate -- and at the time (early in the summer of 2001) I wasn't sure I was going to.

As people meet people in situations like this, we read each other's diaries, we left each other comments, we chatted on instant messenger when it was late at night for her. And I really liked her.

So much so that when I returned to England we started talking on the phone, and after a week I kind-of, sort-of, asked her out on a date. We liked each other but didn't date because we thought it wouldn't be feasible living in different parts of the country, as we would do in term time.

This is largely background, not meant to be a whole history of us. Just setting down there were feelings there, for in November when I went to stay with San at her university.

I don't remember what we did all night. If we talked, or drank, if we stayed in or if we went out. I don't remember what music she played, if any.

I just remember when we were going to go to sleep -- San on the floor -- and San turned the light out. We sat on the bed, facing each other, in the dark. It was hard to make San out in the dark, but her skin was -- and is -- amazingly soft. As it should be for how much she moisturises. I think we held hands, or I stroked her face or arms. Then we gradually got closer and closer in the dark.

Until suddenly we were kissing. It was dark, so I couldn't have seen much, but we kissed for what seemed like all night. Her lips were as soft as the rest of her skin.

I mention it was November, because in England in early November is fireworks night. Maybe this was or wasn't that night, but the fireworks go on for days if not weeks, and I remember we laughed at the fireworks that night.

That kiss was the best first kiss ever. Yes, better than the first time I kissed Fiona -- and better than the other girls before and in between.