Innernetz, I need your help!

It's Thursday, and by all rights I should today return to the much-neglected and Gala Darling-inspired Things I Love Thursday posts.  Except it's hard for me today to list the things I love -- or at least make it interesting.

The last couple of days in London, it's seemed like it has barely got light -- the rain has been torrential, and almost constant.  We can't complain too much though -- it's a subtle reminder of how bad things are in other parts of the world, like Africa and Asia -- Pakistan in particular.

The cloud and the rain is also a useful metaphor for how I've felt this week, and increasingly over the last couple of weeks.  I've been saying it almost from the day I started in this job, but I really have to get out of here -- it has been particularly painful this week.  Naturally, there's been no more talk of the marketing position I was offered a few weeks back -- so there's no way of knowing if or when that will happen, or if it will even be a job worth taking.  Right now I am just feeling stranded in a job I hate, with no way of knowing what to do to get out or to change it.

So, innernetz, I am asking for your help.  I am sincerely hoping there are more people reading this than I think, otherwise it's to an audience of one.  If you're pushed for time, just scroll down to the parts in bold for the action items -- then come back for the rest later.  You know you'll want to.

I was struck yesterday by something someone said on Twitter.  Inspired Entrepreneur Nick Williams had a short, simple message that said "Your creative and spiritual gifts are a perfect match for someone else’s needs and wants".  While I have some doubts about any "spiritual" gifts I have to offer (due to my skepticism about the existence of any kind of "spirit"), I do truly believe that my creative gifts -- my skills -- would be a perfect match for someone.  I'm a talented guy.  I write well, I'm creative and imaginative, I am easy to get along with and undemanding.  I am also very passionate when something engages my interest.

And this is why I need your help, Innernetz.  Being good just isn't good enough today, especially not when there are far more people than there are jobs.  Ultimately, I want to come to the point where I can turn my unique ideas into something that will earn me a living -- but before I can get to that point, I need to keep working -- and I need to be working in a job that I don't feel is crushing me.

Traditional job hunting is getting me nowhere.  Applying for jobs advertised on the internet places me as one among hundreds of applicants, and I am lucky to get so much as a polite refusal.  Recruitment consultants are unwilling to return my phone calls.  One trusted recruiter, whom I have dealt with over several years, describes my experience to date as "choppy" -- which she feels combines with a lack of recent experience in a creative or media role to give me this current situation: languishing in sales.

We need to a different approach, and something needs to change.  We've heard about the guy who is advertising a promise of 10% of his first month's wages to someone who can get him a job.  We've heard of people walking the streets with a sandwich board requesting a job.  I even heard of one guy, who after being rejected from the same PR agency several times, resorted to erecting a billboard on their front lawn.  It had a childhood picture of himself, and the caption "When I grow up, I want to work for...".  Funny how I can't remember the agency's name any more.

I need a unique angle to demonstrate the skills I have that make me such an amazing employee.  The second prong of the attack is that I also need anyone who reads this to drop me a line with a suggestion of someone I can contract -- a friend, an ex-employer, even a current employer -- who would be able to help me with this job hunt.

I am reading a lot of career change/life coach information at the moment -- including John Williams' "Screw Work, Let's Play", Marianne Cantwell's "Free Range Humans", and Mark McGuinness' "Lateral Action".  The trouble is -- and maybe it's the job (what Mr McGuinness calls "the sensible job that pays the bills but corrodes your soul") -- but I come home every night feeling frustrated, resentful and depressed.  This doesn't fill me with energy and optimism for striking out on my own, if I even knew what I wanted to do or how I could do it.

To recap -- what do I need?  Firstly and obviously, the main thing is I need a new job.  In the absolute short term, I need a job where I can be useful and creative and use my talents.  It doesn't have to be what I am going to do with the rest of my life, but I can't get anywhere when I feel the way I currently do each day.

Secondly, I need your thoughts and your ideas and your help on what I can do to.  Traditional job hunting methods are dead -- I need something that's going to set me apart.

Thirdly, and this can tie in with the second, I need referrals and contacts.  People who will listen to what you say when you tell mention my name.

For the rest of it, I'm on my own.  It's going to be up to me to figure out how to eventually turn "work" into "play", to break free of my rusty cage, and to strike out on my own.  But before I can do any of that, someone get me out of this sales role.

It's all academic

Picture source: Google images

It's a strange feeling this week, with all the news coverage of the A-Level results, to know that it's been 11 years since I got my own. I'll always remember the day: jumping out of bed and running to the front door so excitedly when the postman rang the doorbell.

He wasn't bringing my A-Level results, of course I had to go the school like everyone else to collect those, instead he was bringing me my Ramones Anthology boxset. "I Wanna Be Sedated" has never seemed a more fitting theme tune than it did that day.

My own results were very mediocre, I was a little disappointed but at the same time also relieved as I knew I'd be accepted by at least one of my two universities of choice. I was never going to be an Oxford student.

It seems those golden days are long behind us now, as the news fills with tales of students getting straight A grades, but being denied university places. To my mind, it's a product of schools putting too much pressure and focus on the grades and not enough attention on the rest -- extra-curricular activities, what you actually do with your time. You can get straight A grades, but if you want to go to the top universities in the country you are competing with everyone else who has the same grades.

It's been widely noted on the internet this week that if you read almost any of the major newspapers, you might be misled into believing that only pretty, skinny, white girls got their A-Level results. News coverage all features the same pictures of these photogenic girls "jumping for joy" or hugging each other. Nobody else matters, they seem to say. The question is, with all the attention this disparency is attracting online, will next year's coverage be any different?

Opinions are also divided over the creation this year of the A* grade at A-Level. Personally, I think it's extra pressure that you don't need at that age. I remember on GCSE results day, seeing a girl crying her heart out at being a failure because of her 10 GCSEs, only 9 had returned an A* Grade -- she was crushed to have got one grade A, as if she had failed everything. One could argue that this pressure came from parents or teachers or the girl herself, and had nothing to do with the A* grade being available -- but to my mind, it devalues grade A. Why don't we introduce a double-A* grade for those who do even better?

It was reported that because of the shortage of university places, versus the demand for them, some universities are encouraging students to look overseas. I don't know if such a system exists, but wouldn't it be something if students were able to put their grades -- actual or predicted -- into some kind of international database, to see all the universities and colleges around the world that would be thrilled to have them?

I'm certain there are hundreds, if not thousands, of universities in English-speaking countries or where the courses are taught in English -- and that with straight As or A* grades these universities would be falling over themselves to welcome British students. Perhaps this competition would mean that British universities would have to do more than just exist to attract students to them? I know when I was going to university, it was important to me to be able to have time abroad -- if I could have had the chance to spend the whole time in another country, I probably would have taken it.

But it all comes down to what everyone else thinks. What do you, the two readers of this blog think? Does the A* grade devalue the A? Should students have more access to universities outside the UK? And should schools place more value on things other than straight acadmeic scores?

Got the funk

I can't deny it, I am in a funk right now.  The trouble is, I don't know what to do to change it.

I take the right pills every day.  I also take multivitamins, cod liver oil and vitamin C supplements.  I make a conscious effort to take the stairs rather than use the lift nine times out of 10, and walk up escalators rather than ride to the top.

I can't say I don't have enough social interaction, either.  I am forced in my job to be calling people almost all day, every day, and went out to lunch with delegates twice in the same week.  I also went out and performed some of my poetry at the Poetry Cafe's "unplugged" night on Tuesday night, to a warm response.  One of the people there mentioned recognising me from Kid, I Wrote Back in Shoreditch and my recent performance at the festival in Shoreditch park.  Interestingly, after my performance in the park I have been considering giving up on writing and performing poetry since I am really just not that good.

So, then -- what's wrong?  Work continues to get me down, as ever.  Last week, apropos of nothing one day the MD asked me for 15 - 20 minutes.  We had a meeting, and she offered me the opportunity to take up a different role within the company -- to move out of sales and into marketing, because she thought I would be good at it and might enjoy it more.  I was pleased, I thought I would enjoy it more, and would be good at it -- putting the "social" into social media marketing, writing the email newsletters that go out to our community, and hopefully getting some specific time set aside to write the blog I set up for the company but never have the time or motivation to do anything with.

We said I'd take the week to think it over.  And the first thing I had to think about was, what was the salary going to be like in this position?  You would expect that this would be given with any kind of information about a role being offered, after all it would dramatically affect any decision you were to make.  But all this week the most I was able to establish was that it would be "very similar" to my current salary, which given it would be marketing instead of sales, didn't seem to make a whole heap of sense -- how similar could it be if there were no commissions from sales?

I got to have a meeting today, to discuss my thoughts.  And in this meeting today it seemed like in seven days the goalposts had been moved -- where last week I was told I would be starting this role in 2 - 3 months, if I took it, since they'd need to hire and train someone new for sales, today I was told it would be more like 4 - 6 months.  They want to bring in at least 3 new sales team members to ensure there is no dip in revenue.  I also found out that my salary will indeed be very similar in this new role, because I will be expected to be directly generating sales still!  Not through telemarketing, thankfully, but I will still be expected to work on commission and meet sales targets.

This time last week I was happy and excited about the possibility.  Today I feel a bit ripped off.  I have provisionally accepted the position for now, but can change my mind at any time, so will have to keep looking for something else.  And will have to magically find some motivation to look for jobs and apply for jobs and not get disheartened when nothing comes of it.

In her email newsletter today, Marianne Cantwell of Free Range Humans, explores how these days being employed -- rather than self-employed -- is the riskier option.  Her argument makes a lot of sense "With job security out the window for most people, employment is the equivalent to being self employed with only one client (your employer)".  I'd not thought of it like that before, but it makes a lot of sense.

What I disliked about being a freelance PR was the worry of not knowing when I would be working next, or how long I would be between positions.  I didn't enjoy the free time between roles or go anywhere like I planned to because I didn't know how long I had to last for.  Maybe I just wasn't a very good freelancer, one recruiter once told me that if I was any good I would have been offered a permanent role -- and I felt the same way, I longed for a secure, permanent position, somewhere I could stay and grow.  The world doesn't feel that way any more -- the threat of redundancy feels like it is going to be there, and you can expect to change careers, not just jobs, several times in your working lifetime.

With a little thanks due to Gala Darling, in a recent burst of inspiration my girl has started to put into practice her plans for world domination.  Determined not to spend the next 30 years working in an office for someone else, the girl is putting into action plans for her own business -- go to her blog and check it out, because not only is she someone special, but she has some excellent ideas and is really showing the rest of us how it's done when it comes to making plans to break free and go into business being yourself.  Embodying the ideas of Screw Work, Let's Play -- and now borrowing my copy of John Williams book -- the girl will soon be getting paid to play, or in her case be getting paid to be crafty.

It's far too simplistic to blame all my unhappiness right now on a job I can't stand most of the time.  But when you are there and feeling that way 9 hours a day, 7 days a week, I guess it has an effect.  Obviously, I have deeper seated issues I also need to address -- if I was a happier person, maybe I wouldn't let a job get me down.  But I'm just in a funk right now.