How it goes

My body feels like it's out of synch with the world. Just a few moments ago I was struggling to remember what day it was (is this a weekday? what day is this?), and it doesn't help that my head was filled with strange and restless dreams all last night. I'm out of bed earlier than normal -- but I guess that's what not working does for you. For me, anyway, it means that I get to bed earlier, and the following morning don't dread leaving my bed covers behind.

My last day at work was much like any other. I'm strange really, I'm the kind of person who refuses to divulge when his birthday is, and then feels disappointed when nobody remembers it. Or -- in this case -- on my last day at work, feels disappointed that nobody really knew I was leaving because I hadn't made a big thing out of it. I thought was reasonably well-liked, I can't think of anyone specifically who had reason to dislike me and more often than not people were pleased to see me. But there was no 'goodbye' card, no parting gift, not even a squirrel with a flute.

On the positive side I managed to get back mostly everything I had lent to people -- including my paperback copy of 'High Fidelity' (which now has a mug ring on the back of it, but I think it will wipe off) and my 'Evil Dead' DVD, better yet my video of 'Clerks' that I lent to my friend the chef last year who has systematically failed to return it despite being asked week after week. Now all I need is for Laura to return my paperback copy of 'Been Down So Long it Looks Like Up To Me'. But then again, I lent Fiona some cds about three years ago, before I left for Utah, and she hasn't returned them -- but I intend to rectify that soon, when we are living in the same city. That said, I am going to have to tread very carefully with seeing her again -- since the last time I saw her was about two years ago, and I told her I loved her and wanted her back and she was less than amused. It took me forever to really get over that, and I'm not eager to do it all again.

Isn't it funny how certain subjects always come back around? I can start out talking about my new flat, or quitting my job, and before you know it I'm talking about falling in love, or not wanting to fall in love with an ex in this case. I guess that's just how it goes.