The Movie Meme

By now, you should know the drill from where you've seen it everywhere else -- be the first to guess the films and get a prize. And no cheating, God's watching. 04/04/08 -- because I'm generous, I'll now give clues for those remaining

1 -This is not 'nam this is bowling, there are rules.
The Big Lebowski correctly guessed by Mez!

2 -Greed is for amateurs. Disorder, chaos, anarchy: now that's fun.
(2nd quote) -They're all dead, they just don't know it yet.
The Crow, correctly guessed by Jamie!

3 -How is it that you recall the most trivial events?
- I'll never forget it. How many times do you get to see Smokey fuck the Bandit?
(2nd quote) -- Didn't I look just like Burt Reynolds?
- Except for the moustache.
Mallrats, correctly guessed by Mez!

4 -When you go on like this, you know what you sound like?
- I sound like a sensible fucking man, is what I sound like.
(2nd quote) -Would you give a guy a foot massage?
Pulp Fiction, correctly guessed by Jamie!

5 -I see the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need.
(2nd quote) -I haven't been fucked like that since grade school.
Fight Club, correctly guessed by Jamie!

6 -I always thought it'd be better to be a fake somebody than a real nobody
The Talented Mr Ripley, correctly guessed by Aurore!

7 -Smile you son of a BITCH
(2nd quote) -Farewell and adieu to you, fair Spanish ladies. Farewell and adieu, you ladies of Spain. For we've received orders for to sail back to Boston. And so nevermore shall we see you again.
Jaws, correctly guessed by Jamie!

8 -I don't like your manners.
- And I'm not crazy about yours. I didn't ask to see you. I don't mind if you don't like my manners, I don't like them myself. They are pretty bad. I grieve over them on long winter evenings.
(2nd quote) -My, my, my! Such a lot of guns around town and so few brains! You know, you're the second guy I've met today that seems to think a gat in the hand means the world by the tail.

9 -CAN WE PLEASE... JUST CALM... THE FUCK... DOWN!
Shaun of the Dead, correctly guessed by Mez!

10 -How can you be a drug addict in the new millennium? Drugs are so retro.
- Before I became a drug addict, I had so many problems. Now I just have one - Drugs! It's given my life real focus.
(2nd quote) -Power to the people who punish bad cinema!

11 -Have you ever transcended space and time?
- Yes. No. Uh, time, not space... No, I don't know what you're talking about.
I Heart Huckabees, correctly guessed by Jac!

12 -What came first, the music or the misery? People worry about kids playing with guns, or watching violent videos, that some sort of culture of violence will take them over. Nobody worries about kids listening to thousands, literally thousands of songs about heartbreak, rejection, pain, misery and loss. Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to pop music?
High Fidelity, correctly guessed by Jac!

13 -I'm not gonna drain you completely. You're gonna turn for me. You'll be my slave. You'll live for me. You'll eat bugs because I order it. Why? Because I don't think you're worthy of human blood. You'll feed on the blood of stray dogs. You'll be my foot stool. And at my command, you'll lick the dog shit from my boot heel. Since you'll be my dog, your new name will be "Spot".
From Dusk Till Dawn, correctly guessed by Dune!

14 -Can you keep a secret? I'm trying to organize a prison break. I'm looking for, like, an accomplice. We have to first get out of this bar, then the hotel, then the city, and then the country. Are you in or you out?
Lost in Translation, correctly guessed by Jac!

15 -Marriage is an important part of getting ahead: lets people know you're not a homo; married guy seems more stable; people see the ring, they think at least somebody can stand the son of a bitch; ladies see the ring, they know immediately you must have some cash or your cock must work.
(2nd quote) -Blow me, all right? But not literally, though. Unfortunately, there's no promotion involved for you

16 -So I'm rappelling down Mount Vesuvius when suddenly I slip, and I start to fall. Just falling, ahh ahh, I'll never forget the terror. When suddenly I realize "Holy shit, haven't you been smoking Peyote for six straight days, and couldn't some of this maybe be in your head?"
Zoolander, correctly guessed by Mez!

17 -I hope it feels so good to be right. There's nothing more exhilarating than pointing out the shortcomings of others, is there?
Clerks, correctly guessed by Mez!

18 -Amid the chaos of that day, when all I could hear was the thunder of gunshots, and all I could smell was the violence in the air, I look back and am amazed that my thoughts were so clear and true, that three words went through my mind endlessly, repeating themselves like a broken record: you're so cool, you're so cool, you're so cool.
(2nd quote) -I haven't killed anybody since 1984.

19 -No, you *couldn't* just call them the Naughty Twins. They're the Assfuck Twins. Why would you call them The Naughty Twins when they get fucked in the ass all the time?
-Well, that's pretty naughty.
(2nd quote) -How would Christ benefit from me putting my tongue in someone's mouth?
Orgazmo, correctly guessed by Jamie!

20 -We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a saltshaker half-full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, laughers, screamers... Also, a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a pint of raw ether, and two dozen amyls. Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get into locked a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can.
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, correctly guessed by Mez!

Update: the results
#8: The Big Sleep -- a classic film noir starring Humphrey Bogart, and a loose basis for The Big Lebowski. #10: Cecil B. Demented -- how anyone could have overlooked this film is beyond me. #15: The Departed -- a gangster film on par with Goodfellas and Donnie Brasco, you should all be ashamed for not recognising the quotes (although granted it's not the most quote-worthy of films). #18: True Romance -- set partly in Detroit, so Jamie really should have known it -- also a classic Tarantino-penned movie, with award-worthy performances.

The commenter with the first to get the most right was Mez, who got a grand total of six correct answers. I know many of you could possibly have rivalled or beaten this, if you had only come here sooner -- so let that be a lesson to you all.

2007 roundup

Yes, it's that time of year again where I take my lead from my fellow bloggers and post a looking backwards/looking forwards New Year post. And it looks a bit like this.

Work

I started 2007 working in a call centre. I was handling insurance claims for a mobile phone provider, and while I enjoyed it if I felt like I was helping people, for the most part it was pretty soul-destroying. I hated being yelled at by customers, I hated not being able to just get a cup of water if I wanted one, and I saw nowhere for me to go in the job. It seemed if I stayed there, the best I could do was eventually be a manager -- and they didn't seem much happier.

In April, I quit the job without giving notice. One Friday afternoon I finished early because I had been working early shifts all week, and I got a phone call from a recruitment consultant. Would I be interested in a freelance-to-permanent job with this one major PR agency in London? I jumped at the chance, and they took me on without an interview. The job never went permanent, they said because my role was combined with a more senior role which they recruited for instead -- but I wouldn't have got it anyway, becuase I wasn't "right" for the accounts, which included beauty products.

I spent much of the rest of this year in freelance PR contracts -- being paid well, but never knowing when the next job would come along, and never making the move to a permanent role. I interviewed for more agencies than I could possibly count -- I even met the same agency in Southampton twice. Most notably, I took myself on a road trip to Brighton for one job, and came close to actually succeeding. The interview was the best I've ever had, and the interviewer -- who also owned the company -- told me how much he liked me, how much he thought we had in common and that I was his favourite for the job. But he was troubled that I didn't live in Brighton, as ideally he'd like someone who knew the area. Needless to say, I didn't get it.

By October, I was fed up with being rejected for every job I went for -- including freelance contracts -- and instead applied for a Christmas temp job in a local bookshop. After a very casual and surreal interview, I was offered the job and grabbed it with both hands. I am due to finish this week, and am a little sad about it as I enjoy the work. Although there isn't really anywhere for my "career" to go, and I didn't spend 4 years and however-many thousand on university education to work in retail, I would probably stay if I was offered a job. I could do with staying in one job now for a decent length of time, and I would rather be happy and paid less than miserable and paid more. We shall see what happens.

In November I decided to stop thinking about it and just do it, and filled out a formal application to join the RAF -- in an officer/administrative position. Who knows what will happen with it.

In December I sent Christmas cards deliberately late when the cards were reduced in price after Christmas to a number of old PR contacts, including my business card, as has now become habit. There's been no response yet, but I was bargaining on nobody being back at work until late this week or early next week. I don't expect anything much, but it was worth a try.

Music

Music remains such a big part of my life that it has to get its own heading. This last year, like most years, I struggle to remember all the bands I have seen. Off the top of my head I can count Nine Inch Nails (twice), Smashing Pumpkins (the first time was amazing, the second was so bad I felt almost personally betrayed), Chris Cornell, Pearl Jam, Ben Folds, Foo Fighters, Aerosmith, Suicide Bid, the Sex Pistols, Sonic Boom Six, The Filaments (in what Pete insists will be their last-ever show), Silversun Pickups and so many more at Reading Festival. I am still wearing my Reading Festival wristband, even though the festival was in August. I work with a girl who is still wearing her wristband from 2006.

2008 is already shaping up to be a good year for music, with tickets already bought for the Gutter Twins, Foo Fighters and Reading Festival -- although Jon has suggested we maybe try and see fewer bands this year (exceptions being the likes of Led Zeppelin and Chris Cornell). How long it will last is doubtful.

Girls

I guess maybe it should be "relationships" as I briefly tried to meet guys through online dating as well -- but finally understood, at least partially, what it is like to be a girl. If you want no-strings sex with strangers, then the world is your oyster -- but you'll be lucky if all you do is catch something nasty. If you actually want to try and meet someone worthwhile, or if worthwhile is too strong a word, then at least someone you could imagine being with, then your options suddenly diminish very rapidly. In the end, the farthest I got was a brief correspondence with a guy, before it fizzled out.

And I haven't fared too much better with girls. I've posted ads, and replied to ads, and again had brief correspondences going. I have come to understand that I shouldn't send a picture of myself too soon as they don't do me any favours, but instead try and build an interest with my winning personality. I know that the best way for me to meet people is more likely going to be offline than through any sort of personals ad, and I thought I had found what I was looking for when I met a cute girl at a punk gig. She was on her own, I was on my own, we had a few beers and really enjoyed each other's company. But either I tried my luck too soon or just wasn't what she wanted, things fell apart with Claire. Just the same, it has shown me to at least try and talk to people and make conversation, even if I feel shy.

Blogging

This would perhaps be better titled bloggers, since the writing itself ain't much to write home about. After first meeting in 2006, China Blue has now become a bona fide real life friend this year -- I've cooked for her, she's met my friends and my cat, and we almost set fire to a bar in Shoreditch last month.

I also met the lovely Elizabeth last June, and although we only spent a few hours together, I am hoping to see more of her when she returns this year.

2008 promises to be an even better year for meeting Bloggers, since Dune is coming to England in six weeks and will be staying with me for a time -- and hot on her heels to these shores will be DownHomeGirl at the start of the summer. I hope to meet WDKY at some point this year, since it seems absurd to me to live so close and read one another's blog, but not meet, and various other bloggers visiting or moving to London I also hope to meet.

Travel

Ha, that's almost a joke this year. A trip to Barcelona fell through near the start of the year, but I hoped with my well paid freelance PR contracts to be able to see some of Europe -- with Paris, Prague, Rome and Venice joining Barcelona on my list. I didn't even leave the country. The closest I got was when I drove to Bristol for a job interview -- and briefly considered driving the extra miles to Cardiff, since I've never been there. There was no surfing in Portugal last year, no snowboarding in the French Alps, not even a week's surfing in Cornwall. I already have plans in place to visit Spain this year, but I think there's also going to need to be a week or so doing something adrenaline-fuelled.

Anyway, despite the lack of overseas travel this year, I have spent many weekends by the sea in Portsmouth -- including a very enjoyable birthday there, and still consider it a very plausible place to live when I am looking for work. As mentioned, I also successfully navigated trips to Bristol and Brighton, the latter without even the aid of sat nav. Like Portsmouth, I was very taken with both cities and the more I see of the country the less I understand the desire for everyone to move to London. Sure, I love London, and would like to live there too -- but I also love Manchester, and Portsmouth, and Brighton -- there's so many great places to be.

As well as some overseas travel (not least to Paris, it's so damn close, I can't believe I've never been), I shall also endeavour to see more of England this year. When it's always there, always available, and not going anywhere, you don't necessarily feel any pull to see these things -- I am going to put that right this year.

Home life

I still live at home. This has to change. Although it seems the British are in some ways abnormal among Europeans for their desire to leave home as soon as possible, it doesn't offer me much comfort. More and more people I know are moving into houses with their friends, almost like students, as house prices in Britain become increasingly ludicrous -- but the comforting thing is these people don't have amazing jobs, so with some kind of reasonably paid, full time job and a few like minded friends, 2008 could be the year I finally move out for good. And will probably take the cat with me...

Monday catch-up

It's been a little while since I actually updated anything properly about my life. I mean, I have shared some brief flashes of insight and talked at some length about books, films and music -- but what's actually going in my life?

Work is fine. There isn't much more to say about it than that -- I was reflecting today how I am far, far happier in this job than I was last year, in the call centre. I was looking at the calendar to see when Christmas was and when I'd probably have to work (probably any day that's not actually a national holiday) and it didn't fill me with dread and disgust. Sure, work is work -- it's a bit of a drag at times, and I get frustrated when I do something wrong, but generally it's alright. I continue to enjoy the people I work with, there is nobody I'd say I dislike which is a huge help.

I sometimes feel like I don't know enough about books and what's new out and whatever else. I certainly don't know enough about where books are in the store, particularly ones on display in the shop window! But every now and then a customer comes along that I can really help. Last week, there was an old lady in a mobility cart who wanted a poetry anthology, featuring Rudyard Kipling's poem If. I explained without a specific title to search for, I wouldn't be able to tell her what we had in stock -- but from my personal knowledge of poetry, I could guarantee we would have at least one such anthology. Unfortunately for her, the poetry was upstairs -- and she didn't seem keen on taking the lift.

Since it was quiet, I volunteered to go find her a book myself -- since I knew it would take me all of about a minute. The first book I picked up was a specific anthology of Rudyard Kipling. Good enough, sure -- but I could do better. I then found an anthology called something like Britain's best Loved poems -- a collection of popular works about Britain. It had the poem she wanted, and seemed to have an interesting variety, plus it wasn't expensive.

Other remarkable incidents have involved someone who didn't know the author or title, but wanted books about a female detective agency in Africa. I showed her exactly where to find Alexander McCall Smith's books. Another customer only vaguely knew the title of their book -- but by chance I was able to tell them they wanted He's Just Not That Into You and it would be under Popular Psychology. Today a customer started talking to my colleague with a vague enquiry about the short stories of Alexei Sayle. She said that she'd looked on Amazon and been unable to find any books. Off the top of my head, I said there are two I own personally -- The Dog Catcher and Barcelona Plates, but he's undoubtedly written more. Although I wasn't able to say without checking if he would be listed under fiction or humour.

It's times like that I can look like I know what I'm talking about. Other times, someone starts asking about a racing driver's autobiography that's in the window and I don't have a clue what they're talking about. Generally, I like the work, since I like books and I like trying to help customers (so long as they're nice to me).

I got a phone call today from a temp agency with regards to a permanent copy writer job in Essex. In Fact, it's in the same town where I worked in the call centre -- so I am willing to bet it will be for one of the companies in the two buildings where I worked. Suits me though -- so long as I'm not in the call centre, it wasn't such a horrible place to work. The only thing that makes me hesitate was the recruiter seemed to think the pay was quite poor -- I told her I wouldn't take less than £15k a year -- I'm a post-graduate, ferchrissake, with about 18 months combined experience working in the media. I should be asking for a good £10k more than that in London. Anyway, she still seemed concerned, so we shall see. It would be a good starting position, and can't pay worse than the book shop.

In other news, winter is closing in -- it's now like the middle of the night when I get home just after 5pm, and I've started needing my scarf in the mornings. This morning was one such crisp morning, and it was nice -- I don't mind the cold if I can wrap up warm. Since today is November 5, there was also a distinct lingering smell of gunpowder in the air, and the occasional split and soggy rocket lying in the gutter. I didn't bother going to any organised display this year, I wasn't that interested. I'd wanted to go to the cinema that night -- but it seems nobody else was interested in that.

Speaking of uninterested, a friend asked me last week if I wanted two tickets to see the Sex Pistols. At first I said I'd have to think about it, but then I thought I should say yes more -- and how many opportunities like this do you get? So I said yes. I'm now £80 lighter for a pair of tickets (or will be, eventually, since I'm paying him back in weekly instalments because I'm poor) and a week later no closer to finding anyone that wants to go with me. To be fair, a few people have said they would have liked to go, but can't -- Jon said he'd try (even though I don't think he was that interested) but has been unable to get time off work. A guy I know from volunteering was very keen to come -- but likewise couldn't get the night off. I even asked Laura, whom I used to work with -- she said she was broke, but seemed interested. But it turns out she's in Scotland for the rest of the week. China Blue would probably have come -- since she likes to say yes more -- but unfortunately for me, she's on holiday somewhere hot and sunny.

My first choices of invitees all turned me down flat: I met Claire at a punk gig! But she wasn't interested. Pete plays in punk bands! But says the Sex Pistols aren't really his thing. I don't get these people. I think I must have eventually asked everyone in my phone's address book. I even emailed Tony Wright from Terrorvision and Laika Dog. It's not quite as random as it sounds, he and I have exchanged emails in the past and he added me as his friend on Facebook a while back. It would be perhaps the absolutely strangest night ever if I should happen to end up going with him, but he probably thinks I'm a mentalist. That or that Brixton is a bit too far from Yorkshire for a night out.

And to close, I watched a DVD at the weekend called What The Bleep Do We Know!? that had been exhaustively recommended to me. It's about Quantum Physics, but also the nature of the universe and how we directly influence the universe and reality and pretty much how we get the reality we choose. It sucked. It was one of the biggest piles of crap I have ever seen. The arguments or points of view about how influence reality and stuff was all very interesting, I give it that -- but it tired to have some kind of storyline which was awful and occasionally would start using animations that were patronising and irritating. These two parts combined to annoy me so much that I didn't get that much out of the whole point of it. If there is a book it was based on, I might read that instead.

28

28 Weeks Later has to be one of the worst and most ill-conceived sequels to any film I've seen. The sequels to Bring It On and Cruel Intentions might have been both pointless and terrible films in their own right, but it's the strength and power of the original film that makes 28 Weeks such a let down.

28 Days Later was so much more than just a zombie film.

The film followed the aftermath from the outbreak of a destructive virus that infected the blood and within seconds turned the infected into a rage-filled 'zombie'. Unlike most zombie films, the infected weren't the dead returning to life -- and that's partly where the film took a more meaningful turn.

It's significant that the virus was referred to as 'rage', in that it was a metaphor for a wider condition. The film opens with shots of violence from around the world, riots, wars, protests -- and the shot pans out to a monkey strapped to a table, being forced to watch. When animal rights activists break in to rescue the chimps they are warned that the are infected. With what, they demand to know. The scientist tells them to treat something you must first understand it. And tells them the monkey is infected with "rage".

Jim -- a bicycle courier -- wakes up alone in a hospital four weeks after being hit by a car, his confusion and disorientation mirrors the audiences as we don't know what happened after a misguided activist was attacked by an infected monkey. When Jim is rescued by two survivors it's explained to him:

"It started as rioting. But right from the beginning you knew this was different. Because it was happening in small villages, market towns. And then it wasn't on the TV any more. It was in the street outside. It was coming in through your windows. It was a virus. An infection. You didn't need a doctor to tell you that. It was the blood. It was something in the blood. By the time they tried to evacuate the cities it was already too late. Army blockades were overrun. And that's when the exodus started. Before the TV and radio stopped broadcasting there were reports of infection in Paris and New York. We didn't hear anything more after that."

The 'rage' virus can be seen as a metaphor for what is wrong with humanity -- what William Golding referred to as "the darkness of man's heart".

Alex Garland -- author of The Beach as well as 28 Days Later and Sunshine, among other notable works -- doesn't seem to have a very rosy outlook on humanity. The Beach starts almost idyllic, but not altogether unlike the events on Golding's own desert island, it seems flawed human nature spoils everything. The virus in 28 Days literally represents what's wrong with mankind -- it's something inherent, "in the blood". The only lines spoken by an infected person in film comes from a boy, found in an abandoned roadside cafe. It's significant that he growls the words "I hate you".

The film's unlikely survivors find an army base near Manchester -- and it's here that the dark heart of human nature is made clear. The soldiers are almost worse than the infected, perhaps showing what happens to humanity when civilisation breaks down.

Unfortunately, the subtlety and thought of the original is completely lost in the gratuitous sequel. 28 Weeks Later takes place, obviously, six months after the first film. The infected have now starved to death and England is quarantined, being marshalled by US troops.

Naturally, it all goes wrong and the infection starts up again -- a survivor is brought into quarantine who although she appears uninfected, is actually a "carrier" of the virus. The result is lots of blood and gore and death and not a whole lot else. There is no longer any exploration of what the virus "is", there's no ambiguity to it. There's no examination of the darkness of our heart, or human nature -- it's just a big budget horror flick that completely forgets everything that came before it.

Perhaps, as a film in its own right -- if you knew nothing of what had come before it, it would be passable. But to follow up something so haunting and thought-provoking, yet genuinely frightening with such... Hollywood garbage? It's almost heart breaking.