Tom has come to stay, once more. It all started with a text message the other night. He asked me how the exams were going, I replied, and asked him how work was for him. He said he hadn't been in recently, since he's spent the last 10 days in bed, depressed. I tried to offer advice, encourage him to leave his bed and do something, but I'm not sure he was listening.
So I called him the next night, to see how he was. Conversation is suddenly incredibly difficult, he has withdrawn almost completely into himself. Voice low and apathetic, nothing to offer, no interest in conversation. I'm hardly the most stable of people, yet suddenly I find that I'm trying to be talkative and interest and encouraging while sympathetic. In the end, I invited him to come stay. I stold him I don't have anything much interetsing to do, since I have to revise, but he's welcome.
In person it's almost more unbareable than on the phone. Don't get me wrong, I love the guy -- we've been friends since the first year in Derby, and although we've had some minor disagreements over the years we've remained friends. Just the same, I'm finding his intense depression very hard to deal with. I couldn't very well leave him in Hull to sulk and stay in bed, and I figure at least here I can keep an eye on him -- make sure he eats, make sure we leave the house, even entertain him here or there.
He apologised last night as we sat in the pub, in silence, for not being very good company. I told him I didn't invite him here to entertain me. I invited him here because I care, and want to do anything I can for my friend. It just doesn't seem to me that there is a lot that I can do.
He keeps disappearing for lengths of time. This morning he went to brush his teeth in my flat, and was gone long enough for him to have scrubbed his entire body clean with a toothbrush. He has now left the computer lab here at the university to use the bathroom, and even given that he didn't know where it was and he had to find it, it isn't far. It's not as far that it should be taking him this long. I feel the need to check up on him, see what he's doing.
I have no idea how long he plans to stay for, but he is welcome with me for as long as he wants to be here. I just don't know how to help him, and not being outgoing myself it can be very awkward.
The way I see it, though, is that this can't be any worse for him than staying in bed and not eating. That's what I hope, anyway.
No comments:
Post a Comment