Anti-social day

I feel like trash today. I didn't sleep very well last night I think, and today just feel run down and anti-social. It's funny, I'm sat around wondering abut calling my doctor. Not because I don't feel good, but because he apparently called wanting to speak to me over the weekend. I really don't know what he wants. I'm not expecting any sort of test results, nor any feedback from him on anything. I saw him last week and he changed my medication, and it's possible that with my moving and his surgery reopening my medical records weren't available to him at the time. In this case he could be concerned that my records show I'm all kinds of screwed up and he wants to talk to me about it or something. This seems kind of above and beyond the call of duty to me, especially since he wasn't overly concerned with talking to me about why I was on medication to begin with.

The other option is that I mentioned to him I needed a job. That here I am, a qualified journalist, and I can't get a job. He said something like he would keep his ear to the ground for me in case he heard of anything I might be suitable for. There's a chance, then, that this is why he called -- that he has heard of a job or recommended me for a job and wanted to tell me.

But it's the uncertainty, the fear that it could be the first option and not the second, that is stopping me from calling. I'm wrestling with whether it is better to not know. If it's about a job then surely it is better to call sooner rather than later? I don't expect to make a move any time soon.

On an unrelated topic, I finally got compensation through for my assault back in January. It's not a fortune, but I'm pleased enough that it has cleared my overdraft, cleared my credit card debts and given me some savings again. It also meant I could take San out to dinner on Friday night and buy her a pretty bracelet from Camden market. Of course, since my parents don't know I was assaulted I also haven't told them about my compensation and am having to be careful about my spending. I bought a usb device and a new pair of boots before I left Leicester -- knowing I had money coming -- and so have successfully avoided being asked where I got the money for those from. I have my reasons for keeping it from them -- mainly because it would be too difficult to explain who I got compensation from when I told them that I merely slipped on some ice and fractured my jaw. But it's also because I know they would want a share of the money.

I talked to the university before I left about getting a hardship grant from them, since I had to pay out for all my exams. They said they could give me £1500, if I met certain requirements. Once my parents found out about this they decided that the majority of this money should go to them, and not to me. I resented this at the time, but have since agreed to just keep £500 for myself, since they don't know about the other money. Out of this I will take them out to dinner this week.

I'm wondering to myself lately if maybe I should go travelling. I've got a little money and nothing really to do here right now, so it could be a good time to see something of the world. Most likely it's an idea I will do nothing more about -- yeah, I said I was feeling anti-social today.