I have been trying desperately to avoid looking at my bank account balance. I know this is stupid, that there isn't more money in there from just not looking or I can't make it last longer by not knowing, I just didn't want to know. I should have realised how close to the edge I am, considering how much my travel into London costs me. I have reclaimed the expenses, of course, but that doesn't change that I'm not actually earning anything. I don't know how long I can go on working without pay for, but then I don't know how long they want me to, either.
Earlier in the week I learned that one of my colleagues and fellow intern had been offered a contract. I'm hazy on how much work experience he has done to date, but I know he likes the company; it's a major company with lots of big accounts and lots of jobs, but as he says; there is a lot of competition for the jobs, too. Being nosy, the next day I found his contract -- wholly by accident. And I found it wasn't a job offer at all, but instead an offer of paid work experience for three months, at a rate of £100 a week. I don't know if that is exclusive of travel expenses, because I spend at least £70 a week on travel and it wouldn't be very feasible. On the other hand, I'm currently working for even less than that, so it would be a step in the right direction.
I enjoy the company and I enjoy the work, and I think I could be very happy doing the job. But that's not really up to me.
In the meantime I need to try and find a way to make some money. First to go has to be the snowboard, but who the hell wants to buy a snowboard at the start of the summer? Perhaps I should have planned ahead a little better before I bought the bloody thing. I am also trying to isolate from my bank statements my car insurance payments, since when I got the car late last year my Dad agreed to pay the tax and insurance for a year as a joint birthday/christmas present -- but to date I have been paying for it.
All of this is just a short-term solution, the reality is I need a job that is paying me real money, and I need it right away. I've sent my CV and a covering letter to a couple of London-based agencies that deal with recruitment in PR, so the hope is either a job may come from one of those, or that my company will be compelled to offer me something more substantial rather than let me go. I don't know how much I mean to them, there is a greater supply of interns than there is demand, and I might just be another face they will forget in no time at all.
I dont look at my bank account either when things are bad. Such as right now. Though I have to say, its worked quite well for me because I feel like all I do is spend spend spend and yet often when I look, I'm not doing nearly as badly as I'd thought.
ReplyDeleteI really hope things pull through for you. They have to, I guess, sooner or later.
.. I stopped worrying about my bank account when I got a credit card. Then I started compulsively checking that instead :)
ReplyDeleteActually.. credit cards are a great tool to have.. you and I probably need to have a conversation on financial strategy - I've turned into a quasi-advisor for my friends..
Anyway, good luck on your internship!! I am so, so proud of you. Just be curious and ambitious - show them your best. Don't worry about being forgotten .. who could forget *that* face? :) *pinches your cheek*
I'm very much the same when it comes to avoiding looking at the bank balance. I'm even better with not opening any letters that have a little window too. I know it's already out there and not opening it isn't going to help matters but I keep doing it anyway.
ReplyDeleteI think it's good of you to apologise. You might not always get a positive response but it's still very good that you're doing it.