Baby come back maybe next week

It's 5.30pm on a Tuesday.

Last Tuesday night I went to the pub to meet the snowboarding group -- a strange idea, since there aren't any mountains in England, let alone in Leicester. I think I stayed for all of about an hour. I got some cheap drinks for being part of the group and tried to talk to a first year chick with a pierced eyebrow just because she was hot, and I don't know anyone in this city.

I think I left after about an hour, shortly after she left -- although her presence wasn't really what kept me there, I just noticed that I didn't have to feel obliged to stay. After all, the music on the jukebox had been turned up so loud that you couldn't really talk to anyone, or anyone you didn't already know. Small talk with strangers can be hard at the best of times, especially if you aren't already outgoing -- small talk with strangers when it requires shouting over the jukebox is nearly impossible.

I wanted to join the group, I really did. I love snowboarding, but for me it's a very solitary activity. I liked the idea of a week long holiday at a resort in France, but wasn't appealed by the crazy drinking and clubbing in the evenings that seemed to be as much part of it as the powder.

I even wanted to have more lessons -- after all, when I last went snowboarding it was nearly three years ago and even then I had only just managed to make it off the very basic slope and still couldn't figure out how to get off a ski lift without falling on my head.

I guess the only reason I'm not going to be joining is the cost of it all. It's something like £20 to join to begin with, then paying out for going to a dry slope each week, probably equipment hire too, and then more still if I want the crazy booze-fuelled trip away. They seem like good people, even on the most basic level I talked to anyone. I just don't have the money for it all right now.

I could turn up tonight anyway for the cheap drink and try harder to talk to people, make connections, even if I don't necessarily join or do anything else with them. It's an idea.

What I should do is not go, and instead go home and practice writing shorthand since I am a terrible human being and haven't practised at all yet, not even on the past couple of days when there was no official class and I was meant to be learning the alphabet perfectly.

Will I even do that? It's doubtful. But my mood's pretty good, even if I'm not seeing San today. We see each other most days, if only for lunch, but are very wary of "spending too much time together" and so I won't see her tonight. Things are pretty good there, I'm certainly very glad to have her around.