No reason

It's probably just as well that I didn't start asking San deep and meaningful questions about our relationship, since it seems that I was wrong.

I stayed in the library until about 8, I had nothing to go home for but in the end had nothing to stay here for -- and I needed to eat something. On way out of the library though I noticed the video library and thought I may as well rent something to watch. Eventually I found something, and figured I'd ask San if she would like to watch it with me.

Somehow, in inviting her over, we managed to talk about why it seemed she didn't want to see me. For once, it really isn't me, but her. She doesn't want to be isolated from other people from seeing me too much, for one reason or another, and most of all she doesn't want to be dependent on me. It's not right to rely on other people to make you happy, because that gives the power to make you unhappy, too.

I talked her into coming over to watch the video, but because my flat is so cold she climbed into bed to watch it and I talked her into staying the night so we wouldn't have to get up and walk her home.

Things are good. I like little more than sleeping with someone, to wake up in the middle of the night and talk about what I was dreaming about. But most of all I like the closeness.

This morning we woke up late and I went to my law class and she went back to her room -- hoping not to see any of her flatmates and avoid admitting being out all night. Her first class was starting when my class finished, so as I walked over to the union building with some guys from class I passed her in the street. She has classes for the rest of the day now, and I need to take a shower and do my jobs for the day.

Yesterday should stand as a good example of my insecurities, and luckily this time I was insecure for no reason at all. What I could do with now is the lecturer I emailed to tell me that I am being insecure for no reason over my work.