A human being that was given to fly

I dreamed last night (probably more like 10 this morning, but still) that I could fly. Inspired by China Blue's mention of her own desire to fly -- which probably prompted my whole dream -- I had to record it here.

Remembering the dream is like changing the tv channel onto a film that's already halfway through; I don't recall how it started or the background details that would be needed to make sense. The important was that somehow with the aid of a run up and a sort of leather strap that worked as a seat, I could fly. I was flying over fields and woodland, and would go low enough to talk to people, then flying miles high above the trees.

Unfortunately -- and I think this might say something about my state of mind -- there was sometimes a sense of unease, a lack of understanding of how it was this leather strap enabled me to fly (although I wasn't surprised at all, neither were anyone I encountered, even if they might have been slightly jealous). Because I didn't understand how it worked, I would get worried that it could fail. The higher I'd go, the more danger I'd realise I was in -- soaring high over a forest it struck me suddenly I was doomed if I suddenly lost it.

I don't know why then I didn't just land, but instead I flew out over the ocean -- I think coming down might have been a problem, maybe the speed I was travelling, too -- but the ocean was a steely grey-blue. Why would it have been somehow better to drop into the ocean, miles from shore? I don't know, but that's what I reasoned -- if I should fall, I wouldn't be killed.

As ever, a dream of flying just makes me want to return to sleep. I want back that feeling of flying, but of course -- I want it back with control. Sometimes I like to imagine where I'd go, if I could fly. Supposing it was only the equivalent speed of a regular jog, so travelling great distances would be out of the question. I scope out buildings, great cathedrals or rooftops, imagine sitting on top, unnoticed.

Last night with San we took the lift to the top floor of her flats, so I could look out over the city. We haven't been up there since the New Year's Eve when we watched fireworks, instead last night we just stood in the dark while I made out London landmarks, pointed out bedrooms lit by televisions, or watched people walking or driving far below. I imagine that is a bit like flying, being unnoticed and so quiet above all the houses.