The P Party

For months, we've been talking about the upcoming "P Party", hosted by some of our friends we know mostly from camping at Reading. The party had one rule: you must dress up as something beginning with P, and there were to be no police or pirates. It has been one of our sole topics of conversation when we're down the pub -- what were various people going to dress as? Nick had even developed the annoying habit of asking people who weren't even invited what they were going to dress as. Nick had also been insisting our friend Owain (one of the part hosts) was going to be dressing as "pancreatic cancer", and that he himself planned to be "polio". Of course, neither was true, big surprise there.

I have already mentioned that my own "P" was a no-brainer. As the amazing Peter Parker (I thought I should get extra points for having both names as P) I bought a black Spiderman suit from ebay and black liquid eyeliner. It wasn't quite complete as I decided buying an emo wig wasn't worth the expense, but just the same -- I rocked that look. With my black spidey suit under an undone white shirt and a pair of normal black trousers, I got a mixed reaction. Some people got it immediately -- and were so taken that they would come up and shake my hand, or tell me how much they love Spiderman in general. One guy had me cornered for a while talking about The Incredible Hulk and a rumoured homoerotic Thundercats movie starring Wesley Snipes. Other people would just look at me in confusion, or ask me "Who are you?". I guess they hadn't seen the movie, and didn't understand why I was "Spiderman" and didn't get the eyeliner.

Jon showed his talent for being so indecisive and disorganised that on the day of the party, he still hadn't made up his mind. We'd been trying to convince him that he should be a Playboy Bunny, or another popular vote was Pat Butcher from Eastenders -- a reference that will mean nothing to 99% of my readers here. On Friday night he said he had chosen the Phantom of the Opera, since he'd seen the appropriate mask on the website of our local fancy dress shop. But on Saturday when we got there, he saw that it was poor quality and dismissed the idea. Instead, he decided he would go with Papa Lazarou.

A little more complicated, this led to aimless wandering of the shop looking for inspiration, before we decided it would be best if we went home and looked for pictures, before going back. Jon again discarded this idea as well, when in a conversation with his friend Luke, Luke said he'd never heard of the character. Jon went home to try and think of something else. I turned on the TV to find I had missed all of the rugby. Still, it was a good

Eventually, Jon did decide. He would be a punk. He couldn't be bothered to buy a punk wig, although I tried to encourage him to stick safety pins through his ears -- his ears were pierced to begin with, I should make clear, although he hasn't worn any piercings in years. I also lent him my black leather jacket with its various silver zips and buckles and he made do with lots of hairspray.

The party was in full swing when we got there. Of our friends from Reading, Tom was a Panda -- although specifically I think he was Vince Noir in the Mighty Boosh episode where he dresses like a panda, to flirt with a panda's wife. Owain was a Playboy Bunny -- and had gone to such lengths as shaving all over for the look, while Rich was Pythagoras. Rob was Parsley the Lion , and his girlfriend Amy was Penny Crayon.


A bit of a disappointment was Luke, his girlfriend Carly and her sister Laura -- I had been told they were going to be the Powerpuff Girls. Instead, Luke was a prostitute, Carly his pimp and Laura was a Pussycat. It took me half the night to work out that their friend Claire was Pebbles from the Flintstones (I had been puzzling over caveman, or maybe something to do with "prehistoric").

The party itself was a great time -- there was a two-hour playlist of music they'd called "Hap-P Hour" featuring only artists or song titles starting with the letter P. And I can honestly say, it was the only time I have ever seen a panda fight a penguin. If I had ever wondered what would happen if you put a bowl of ice cream in a microwave with an egg and some bourbon biscuits, I now am enlightened. They say they will be throwing away the microwave.

Sometimes I think it would be great to throw a party like that...and then you hear about things like the microwave, or the state of the carpet -- or when you open the wrong door when looking for the bathroom and see something you weren't meant to... And I think nah, I'll stick with being a guest. And I'll save my costume for fighting crime...