Compassion is, without a doubt, the one thing "that there's just too little of". I'd say this more so than love, since people will kill for love but you rarely hear of anyone killing for compassion. I read somewhere an anecdote about the Dalai Lama being asked about compassion. The questioner had said they struggled with universal compassion, finding it difficult to feel compassionate about a man they had seen beating a dog, in the street. The Dalai Lama had replied you should feel the same compassion for the man as you do for the dog. To many people that must sound far too liberal, too soft, and ridiculous. It's beautiful, but is it practical?
I read in the news today about a 4 year old girl who is learning and teaching people about compassion. Sophie Gallagher wouldn't accept there was nothing she could personally do to help people sleeping rough in these exceptionally cold nights (and it is far, far colder where she is than it is here, I'm sure) -- and now she will be donating about 100 blankets and soft toys she has collected.
The Novelista Barista recently appealed for blankets for the dogs at the shelter where she volunteers. I was inspired by it to want to help. Because I live in a different country, sending blankets wasn't a very sensible option, but I wanted to feel more proactive than donating money. Instead, I researched animal shelters in London, and have contacted Battersea Dog's Home -- who have graciously accepted an offer of donated blankets. The girl and I have exactly the blankets in mind to donate, too -- so will be dropping some off either this week or next.
Earlier this year, I raised £4,000 for Macmillan Cancer Support in memory of my aunt who had lost her own battle with cancer a few years back, and everyone else affected by it every day.
I don't mention these examples of compassion because I want people to say what a good person I am -- but because I find the trouble is with all of these things are is nothing ever feels like enough. I know that something is better than nothing, intellectually at least -- but what's £4,000 when you can raise 5? What's a couple of blankets compared to as many as you can carry -- or as many as you can fill a car with? And what about the people in the street begging for change I walk past every day without donating to? I justify it by saying to myself that they are probably junkies, but does that make them less worthy of compassion? Does that mean they will feel the cold any less? Maybe I should be buying them coffees, giving them blankets?
When Vanessa Galagher explained to her daughter about charities that help people who are homeless, Sophie didn't accept this as good enough. Perhaps the concept is too abstract for a 4-year-old? Try and explain how if you give one person a blanket you keep that one person warm, but by making regular contributions to a recognised charity you could help many more people in a variety of ways... If you give someone begging a few coins, maybe they will buy a coffee, maybe they will buy drugs, but you are doing nothing to get them off the streets. But again it comes back to how much is enough? You can help one charity, or you can help five, or fifty-five -- but you can't see where it stops, so instead you don't do anything. I don't know what the Dalai Lama would have to say about it, perhaps he'd mention something else I clearly struggle with: acceptance.
Back finally to compassion. In the news recently is controversey about the use of reasonable force in protecting your home. While some newspapers like the Daily Mail are crying the world's gone mad when a man is jailed for defending his home and family, they tend not to mention that while this man and his family were terrorised by violent intruders, he did then chase one of them down the road, and when the intruder fell to the ground, proceeded to beat him with a cricket bat, leaving him with permanent brain damage. This isn't in the same league as the Croc-Wrestling Wife Lobber and his catapult. Perhaps both would benefit from compassion.
Ernesto 'Che' Guevara once said the true revolutionary is guided by a great feeling of love, and I think this brings the post full-circle in the debate on compassion.
Oh, sounds like a book I'd want to read! I loved that story of a 4 year old. And what you say Che said in the end... perfect! I think that's kind of what I'm striving for next year. I want to learn about love and that's why I'm volunteering, etc. I also feel--constantly--that what I do isn't enough. I actually feel like a fake about it! I feel like I come off as very compassionate on my blog but in real life, I could be doing wayyyy more than I am. =/
ReplyDeleteEXCELLENT post btw :)
Jay--
ReplyDeleteNo matter what you do, it's never enough. But it's a damn sight more than most of the world is doing. Compassion is not just, though, in donating blankies or money-- it's in the thousands of little interactions we have with each other, the sensitive nods, the kind pats on the shoulder, the good word, the smile. Every day.
I think "enough" is when you know you can't do more. The point where doing more will lead to material damage to your health, relationships, or financial situation. You might feel like you should be doing more, but there definitely comes a point where you have to accept that you can't do everything-- enough is when you're doing everything you can. Doing nothing might not be an option, but doing so much that you suffer damage is the opposite extreme. Simples? Maybe not... just a balancing act.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with you Jay, and Apron too. I think compassion is ridiculously rare these days, as rare as sincere empathy, and that nothing is ever enough. I will always be hopeful that if people do still exhibit compassion, there might still be some hope left for us.
ReplyDeletecompassion is a rare thing
ReplyDelete*sigh
your post is real good :)
loved it
just a note on killing for compassion- That's what Dr. Kevorkian was doing. I know that's not what you meant, but.
ReplyDeleteI have a hard time knowing where the line of compassion ends and handout start. There is so much you can do for someone before they need to take the initiative to help themselves. I think it may be better to help people find gainful employment then to cut them a check every day. Teach a man to fish and all that.
With animals though, it's much different. Animals get into awful prediciments because of people, and I never feel as though enough is enough to help.
Floreta: I think we all feel like we could be doing more -- I feel like a fake myself, like this post makes me out to be way more compassionate than I am. I feel like I could learn a lot from you, so maybe I'll live vicariously through you this coming year?
ReplyDeleteMr Apron: You're absolutely right, compassion is in the little things and sometimes not even in "things" at all, but right-thinking.
Amanda: What you say makes a lot of sense, it really is a balancing act -- of something being better than nothing, and of not taking things to such an extreme where doing more becomes harmful in some way.
Radiogael: There is compassion out there, and empathy, we just don't hear much about it on the news -- I think people have a tremendous ability and capacity for both.
Sorcerer: I'm glad you liked it, and flattered someone as popular as yourself would compliment it. As above, I don't think compassion is as rare as we might think, but there's definitely not enough.
Jamie: I'd never heard of Dr. Kevorkian before, and while you're right in saying it's not exactly what I meant, assisted suicide for the terminally ill could be regarded as very compassionate. But that's a debate for another time. I think when it comes to compassion vs hand outs, perhaps my examples aren't very good ones, and are certainly not meant to be models for societal change -- blankets for the homeless won't get them off the streets, just as blankets for animals in shelters won't reduce their numbers. It's more about a desire to help in some small, direct way.