Is there a more disappointing message than "0 new. Displaying 0 of 0"?
The briefest spark of anticipation, of hope -- and excitement despite yourself, and then the sunken heart sensation with the almost inevitable outcome. Silence was there, and nothing more.
It's like waiting for the phone to ring, it's like waiting for the post to come. But it's harder than that, or it's worse than that, because of that damn anticipation.
You make your excuses for her. She has to go to internet cafes. She might be broke. But, deep down, you think you know; she has lost interest. And you want to ask her, what did you do wrong? Like a rejected job application, you want to ask for feedback.
Did you write too much, ramble on too much? Maybe you didn't ask her enough questions -- making up for that now, haha.
Locigally, you realise, it's probably really not you. Nothing you did wrong. Maybe it was things you did right? She could have felt bad that she didn't have the time to show you the same attention. Myabe it wasn't ever a decision consciously made -- life just got in the way, and you got left out.
Before you ever really got let in.
There was a guy I went to high school with, and at the time, I kind of liked him and he reportedly also liked me. We were very friendly during the school year and saw each other sometimes during vacations. He graduated and went to college, I haven't heard from him since, and I still want to know why.
ReplyDeleteIt's just one of those things. People just ... go away. It sucks, but there it is.
Oh darling, I'm sorry.
ReplyDelete:( *hug* I know that feeling. Been giving RG the same excuses.
ReplyDeleteyou know, it was writing like this that made me stay. I'm sorry for the subject, but still.. very eloquently expressed. Wish I could do to the same.
You forgot the E! I can't get past that.
ReplyDeleteCurious.
ReplyDeleteany chance of miscommunication?
ReplyDelete..hon, I've been there too. *hug*