It's been almost a week since my last post -- San left -- and things are exactly as normal. The last time San moved to another country she had dumped me shortly beforehand and it seemed all the more lonely -- going from a relationship, to the other person leaving altogether. I wrote it off as karma, just what I get for breaking Fiona's heart when I went off to study in Utah. That was six years ago. San last left, I don't know, maybe three years ago? And the world is a different place.
I don't miss her like before because we haven't been a couple in a long time. I no longer pine for our relationship, because I know I can read through my archives and see things were rarely roses and rainbows for us. It could be that I only felt compelled to write about things when I was troubled, and it could be we were mostly happy together, but either way -- I don't miss it any more. Though, I admit, it's a little strange knowing that I won't be getting any text messages from her.
I mentioned a few posts ago -- in my post about trying to break into the world of dating boys -- that I had struck up a conversation with a girl instead, and things seemed interesting. The update is, nothing happened. We exchanged a few emails, a few casual compliments, even exchanged numbers in a round-about sort of way -- and then just nothing. One day it had been about a week since I'd heard anything from her, and she sent me a text message to say hi and apologise for it. She never responded to my reply, and even several days later there was no response to a breezy, just saying hey, text message. I contemplated if maybe she was playing hard to get. Perhaps she wanted me to chase her. But screw that, I'm not into games -- not those kind of games, anyway. So it ended there, I never bothered to text her again if she couldn't be bothered to reply -- and likewise email. I feel only vaguely rejected.
Work continues the same as ever, neither getting more interesting nor less bareable. I've attended a couple of job interviews, and been rejected -- pretty much without any reason given -- for at least one, so far.
Aurore Sandeau is helping me to realise my dream of being a bona fide artist, by having the honour of being my very first buyer. Just as soon as I receive it from the printer, a picture of mine taken underneath a jetty, on a canvas measuring 297 x 420 millimetres will become my first-ever commissioned piece of work. It's quite an honour for us both. Anyone else wanting to buy unique works from this up-and-coming British photographer is welcome to contact me in the usual way.
But really, nothing ever happens.
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