Sometimes it's all very well realising "Oh, I have issues with attachment", but where do you go from there? Especially if you don't want to become attached to the idea of detachment. But like anything, I guess it's one step at a time -- if you can recognise it you can begin to change it.
We were in the pub the other day, when Nick turned to me and asked if he could get my opinion on something. I gave him the standard response of "[shrug] You can try" which usually confuses people who don't know me very well, him included. He told me that someone on Facebook had told him they wanted to buy some of his photos, and wanted to know from me how much he should charge. What, like there's some set amount? I told him that it really depended on how they wanted them -- canvas prints obviously cost more than normal ones, and then there's sizes to consider, not to mention posting costs. He said none of that mattered, because they didn't want it printed -- only the image. This I found very strange, and told him to make absolutely clear they weren't buying the rights to his pictures, and even then I'd be concerned that if it's someone you just sort-of know online then what is stopping them from printing and selling them -- once they have the image? He didn't think it was likely, but mentioned that further to this they are willing to pay him to take more pictures of London.
My first emotions I think were anger and probably jealousy. I was angry that I can't just have something that's mine, without someone like him coming along and trying to crash my party. He's one of those people that if you mention you like a band's new single will then go out and buy their entire back catalogue and tell everyone what a big fan he is. I felt like I had mentioned something I was trying to do, and he wanted to make it his thing instead. And yeah, I guess it was all just jealousy. But I remind myself that I shouldn't be attached to the identity of "artist". What is it Yoda says, attachment leads to jealousy? For a muppet, there was a lot of Zen wisdom to him.
I am sure the world is plenty big enough for us both to be able to take photographs if we are that desperate. I need to remind myself why I do it, to just dig stuff -- like the picture a couple of weeks back of the sun shining through the branches of the tree. I was standing out on the fire escape at work today, and looking around I decided that it would make a good picture -- so I'm taking my camera tomorrow.
In non-Zen related news, work is good. I'm all self employed and stuff. People ask me what I do for a living and I now tell them "I'm a freelance PR consultant", which basically means nobody would give me a permanent job. I'm thinking freelancing might be the way to go, if I can be sure of semi-regular work -- at least for the summer, so I can have mini jaunts to Europe. But we shall see, right now I need to get my finances straightened out a bit.
I really don't have anything interesting to add to this, which is quite sad. I was thinking of adding a paragraph about a girl, but I'm going to hold off on that for a little while until I know what to say.
No comments:
Post a Comment