I'm so easily amused, I wanted to write this post just because the title makes me laugh. As ever with these stories (the guns, the bomb, the revolution) it starts with a girl.
Ultra is one of those people who are hard to figure out – she plays her cards very close to her chest, so it can be difficult to get a handle on who she really is. She calls herself 'Ultra' although her name is really Sofia, and I asked her if she was an "Electro Girl". In my case, it was a reference to The Mighty Boosh 'Electro' episode, where Vince forms a band with two electro girls called Ultra, and Neon. She didn't seem to pick up on the reference, although I still have my suspicions it's where the name came from –- because of my love of random trivia.
In this case, the random trivia extends to knowing that the girls who played Ultra and Neon in the programme are real-life musicians, in a an Electro pop outfit called Robots In Disguise. I mentioned knowing of their work to Ultra, and she seemed pleased –- though I made sure to clarifiy I didn't really get into their music, but I knew of them, I'd downloaded some songs a while back. The name seems too big a coincidence to not be connected.
Sometimes now when I'm talking to someone new, when we're still in that "getting to know you" stage, I like to throw in random or challenging questions. Rather than the standard "what do you do for fun", I've found a good question to ask people is "what's the most personal thing you're willing to admit to?". It's sufficiently subtle enough to not be too personal, after all you aren't actually asking them a personal question, and they can decide the "most personal" thing they're willing to admit is their favourite colour, if they're so inclined. Sometimes, though, it throws the doors wide open, like it did with Ultra. Suddenly we were talking about fetish clubs and spanking midgets and who knows what else.
I've said that she's difficult to know, and it's true -– I sometimes wonder how much of who she is or what she says is just for show, and how much is really her. She'll tell me something like how she's going to pose for an erotic life drawing class, and ask me if I'd ever consider it – already done the whole life drawing class thing last year, I tell her. Or she'll ask me if I'd ever consider a threesome, and I'll happily discuss the preferred male/female mix. It's really not going to shock me. It's perhaps a little uninspiring that for her 'personal' was automatically interpreted as 'sexual'. It can be used as a front to stop people getting to know the real you.
But we talked about fetishes, or kinks, or whatever you want to call it. I'm not going into too much detail here, but if you would rather not hear anything about this, you'd probably do best to stop reading this post altogether. For the rest of you, be reassured this is never going to get graphic. But, in the right situation with the right person I would say I am rather partial to a spot of tie me up, tie me down. Also blindfolds do a lot for me – because, I think, I have bad spatial awareness so have no idea where I am if I can't see. People close to me also soon learn that I am inclined to bite.
I actually bite people in a whole range of situations – if, for example, someone keeps prodding me and I warn them to stop it, or I'll bite them, I will carry out that threat. I expect Freud would call it an oral fixation (yes, I do bite my nails, and yes I do chew pens) but I can think of situations where I would affectionately gnaw someone's shoulder, or situations where one might be so inclined to bite a partner's neck. Then there's hair-pulling, too... But moving swiftly on, I'm a pretty open minded kind of guy.
Ultra seems surprised when she mentions places like Torture Garden or Coffee, Cake and Kink that I know them. Know of them, at least, not know them from having personally visited. I didn't know the Circus Revue Soho when she mentioned wanting to go. It's strange, because I wanted to go on a date in Shoreditch -- so I don't quite get how one was suggested in place of the other. But say yes more, right? She would probably get on with my Goth friend Owen from university -- when I wanted to go to the Union and drink snakebite and black, he wanted to explore abandoned buildings and drink cheap, fizzy wine.
I asked a friend if he knew of the place, and he had a look on google and sent me some links. From his response I knew it wouldn't be safe to open the links in work, and he mentioned that one of them made specific reference to a big transvestite night (a big night for transvestites, not a night for big transvestites -- we're not talking about Rik Waller in a mini skirt here). Other links made reference to torture and pole dancers. I pictured people hanging on meat-hooks.
She said I'd need to be glam for it, referred me to the myspace of someone named Malcolm Pate for inspiration, and mentioned since I'm bisexual I should have no problem with makeup. That amused me, and I asked if all bisexual men wear makeup? Perhaps she just meant that I wouldn't be worried about people getting 'the wrong idea'. Anyway, it's been years since I've worn black eyeliner, but for a night out like that, it probably wouldn't be nearly edgy enough. And that's a good point -- more than anything else, I thought what on earth would I wear to a place like that? I've since researched it a little further and found it's not all that extreme -- what Ultra wanted to go to seems to be more of an electro DJ night, with someone from Torture Garden on the decks. I told her I had no problem with going, but had no idea where I was going to get anything 'glam' to wear by then. It would most likely involve a trip to Camden, but also possibly a crash diet for me -- to get that 'heroin chic' look.
I also had no idea how I was supposed to get home at 4am after the club, and asked her if crashing at her place was an option -- no funny stuff. She said she had been banking on crashing at mine, since she can't get home either. For the record, she never actually asked me if that would be okay, and is yet to actually tell me where she lives.
There's a lot she hasn't told me. She made some references to work recently, and I asked her what she did -- she joked about being an escort, and the subject was changed. She asked me if I was on facebook one day, and after I told her my name, I looked her up. Maybe she didn't think I would, but I discovered a couple of items she hadn't told me -- like that she's 18, and at boarding school. Maybe that changes things, or should do. I have a feeling in this case for her "work" might well be a euphemism for "studying", or exams.
I wonder how much what she says is maybe just for attention -- and what this might have to do with her age. Because of the conflict of where the hell we were meant to stay the night after the club, it's been postponed. I took a rain check on a proposed Coffee, Cake and Kink date one night week because I'd been out late the night before (see last post), and besides hadn't been clear we had definitely arranged it. Since then she's suggested she'd be too busy to see me any time over the next weeks.
From here, who knows where. I haven't really "invested" anything in her emotionally at this stage, having only spoken to her a couple of times and not met I am still reserving judgement.
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