Having been in my job now for something like 10 weeks, I am now due to have a "meeting" with my line manager. I don't know if this marks my 3-month probation (which technically wouldn't be until February) or if they just feel like now is as good a time as any to talk to me.
My dilemma is what to say. Obviously they want to know How I'm "settling in", discuss any issues I (or she) may have and any additional help I may need.
My progress to date has been followed in almost minute detail in our all-too-frequent meetings, so I'm sure they would have mentioned if there was any concerns on the side of the business there. I'm bitter that due to a mistake using a sum function in Excel I overcalculated my closed business in December. I prematurely claimed to have exceeded my target, before discovering later when I used a calculator to add up the figures that I was instead a good £5k short of it. I don't know if it's possible to ever know honestly what they expect us to achieve or what is acceptable -- logic would have it that they deliberately set our targets out of reach to make us work harder. Being someone for whom nothing is ever good enough, this doesn't do me a whole lot of favours.
I'm also wonder what -- if any -- issues they may want to bring up.
But the main concern for me is how much truth I should give them. How am I settling in? Settled in fine, I get on well with my colleagues and enjoy working with my immediate colleagues, which is a big plus for me. But the job bores the shit out of me, and I don't enjoy it. How's that for an issue? I feel there is nowhere for me to go in it, there is little to no creativity open to me, and few of the things I have enjoyed in previous jobs I've been lucky enough to hold. I have actively been looking for other jobs. Sometimes I resign myself to staying, with the idea that if I can stand it and if the worst it gets is boring then at least it's stable -- other times I say no to settling, say bollocks to the middle, and want more. I blame myself for what I can't ignore, I blame myself for wanting more. There are probably literally thousands of places out there that would benefit from my passion and creativity when I am fully engaged.
That's not exactly the kind of thing you can bring up -- not and expect to escape being fired. On the other hand, if fortune should smile on me and I do find something better in the near future, they might feel betrayed if I lied in the meeting and told them everything was sunshine and kittens when I was really looking around for something else. On the third hand, it's not like if I tell them how I feel and what I want out of life they will magically pull it out of thin air. The truth is I took this job knowing it wasn't what I wanted, but I was in no position to hold out for that magical elusive position and this gave me what I needed -- a job, good earning potential, and prospects, at the expense of creativity or enjoyment.
Most people don't like their jobs. Many people hate their jobs. Some have no job at all. I'm lucky in so many ways. But I still have no idea what I am going to say to them.
You can say that you'd like more "challenges" and you don't mind trying new things, maybe that will give them the hint that you feel a bit stale in your role?
ReplyDeleteI feel you. Our reviews are coming up, and the one thing they asked me to improve on the last six months I didn't even attempt. There is no where else for me to go in the company, but I certainly don't want to stay in my position for long. Right now it's all about maintaining- I have no interest in getting better at my job, and am in no position to leave. My job is just an means to an end right now- we have debts that must be paid, and in my free time I'm focusing on the things I really want to do. It's the only thing that keeps me sane and prevents me from telling customers to go screw.
ReplyDeleteMaybe I'm a pessimist, but I tend to think in situations like this, trying for something "better" internally isn't really going to get you anywhere. It's a really small company- chances of promotion are low, even if you did enjoy what you're doing. Telling them you're not happy doing what you're doing isn't really going to change anything- they're not going to magically decide they want you to write more press releases or anything-- you've given them opportunities to ask for that.
ReplyDeleteWhat would I do? Nothing. I'd make out like I was still getting to know the company, and the products on offer, but you're settling in well and think you're doing well given it's an entirely new industry for you. Don't sugar coat it, but don't go in with a woe is me story. At best, they'll do nothing, at worst they'll start to treat you with suspicion.
Yeah, it's not a great situation, but you're also not in a position to jeopardise your job. Keep looking for other jobs on the side if that's what you want, but don't feel some sort of responsibility to the company. If there's anything I've learnt in the last year or so, it's that the vast majority of people don't feel as attached to their companies or employees as we seem to think they do- decisions to leave or fire someone are rational, not emotional. I always try not to burn bridges, but otherwise, it's all fair game.
Long story short- say as little as possible, while remaining on the positive side.
ps. Sorry it isn't all sunshine and kittens, too :(
ReplyDeleteYup, I agree with Amanda. I wouldn't tell them you hate it, but you can be a little bit vague in what you do say, I think, given that you've only been there in 10 weeks. I hope it goes well... meetings like that are always a bit scary, even if you're pretty sure you're doing a good job!
ReplyDeleteI hope you told them it bores you. I'd love to hear their response to that doozy.
ReplyDeleteSteph: Nicely ambiguous, thanks for the tips!
ReplyDeleteJamie: I think focusing on the things you enjoy in your spare time is a very wise decision, since you can't change the work day. Here's to one day not needing to distinguish between the two, but until you do...
Amanda: That makes a lot of sense. I have made clear my talents and interests, if they wanted to act on them professionally they could have done so by now -- and honesty could only jeopardise my future. I can hope for company growth and potential that way, but in the meantime, as you say, I should feel no loyalty.
Miss Milo: What you say is good, I agree that it's ok to be vague given that I haven't been there so long but just the same it's still slightly nerve wracking!
Mr Apron: God, I must sound like a pretentious twat sometimes!