Space monkey mafia

Everyone's comments on the whole situation with Kat -- she's probably going to be cropping up more, so I figure she deserves a name -- were very enlightening, you seem equally divided between saying "run for your life" and suggesting maybe she does deserve a chance.

As last week progressed Kat actually got on my nerves more than freaked me out -- although with credit to her, she does seem to back off when I tell her to. I think she might be socially inept rather than actively psycho, but just the same I didn't really want her to give mapquest driving directions to her house and when she said she wanted to go for a picnic in the park, I think I decided she wouldn't be seeing me.

This was driven home in no time when I got what I felt was an unprovoked but pissy email from her, asking if I really scared off that easily or if I couldn't handle her liberal, open mind. Everyone knows I'm very closed minded and conservative, obviously. I'd had a couple of drinks that night and a shit week, so I figured I had little to lose from expressing myself. I wasn't unkind, but I told her I was uncomfortable with being told "I just...care about you" and to take responsibility for her own feelings. I know it's easy to say "you make me happy" or angry, or sad, or whatever but I told her I didn't make her happy -- she did, and she could choose how to react if I am cranky or stressed or whatever. I also told her I wouldn't be seeing her on Sunday.

I'd more or less forgotten about the email until the next day in a text message she asked me if we were still on. She seemed annoyed or sad in her very brief few words of a response to the email, and I thought if I left it there I could quiet slip off her radar. Especially when I found a second personal ad she'd posted online and was amazed at what a freak she sounded. And no, I don't sound like a freak in mine, thankyouverymuch. I thought I wouldn't be hearing from her again, but I got an email today wanting to know how Friday night was, because she hadn't an update. I didn't know I was expected to write one. I replied a few hours later with some sparse details, polite but not over-friendly. I guess she's a nice enough person still, I have just lost all interest in her.

I am again increasingly of the opinion that this is the worst possible way I could try to meet someone -- but without a steady wage it's one of the few options I currently have. Today I got an email responding to an ad I posted, but not actually responding to the content but instead asking -- for some study they are doing -- if I'd had any success.

The weekend itself was largely uneventful but not bad -- Friday night I went straight out with San to a comedy club, and it unwound me suitably from a shit week and a stressful day. Saturday was going to be a trip to Tate Modern, but we couldn't be arsed in the end and I didn't get out of bed even until the afternoon. Saturday night -- in a dramatic break with tradition -- my friends actually did come round instead of going to the pub.

So, of course this leaves Sunday for hangovers, leftover Chinese takeaway for breakfast, and barely getting off the computer all day.

Now it's Monday again. I have started a beta blog for ranting -- or just writing generally -- about work. I'd like to think it will become one of those widely-read and highly amusing industry insider blogs, but I think it's doomed to a life of obscurity. That said, I like what I have with you, my hardcore group of readers and lurkers here -- and it's a lot more popularity than I have in the real world.