Tuesday 22 May 2007

Addiction to television warped my perception of reality

I was on the tube, minding my own business, when the man sat opposite me fell asleep. Nothing unusual there. Except you could see even with his eyes closed how his eyes had sort of rolled back in his head. It looked a bit weird, but I was doing my best to ignore it. But then his eyes opened. Not opened all the way, but sort of half-opened so that with his eyes rolled back you could just see the whites. It was completely disgusting. Not to mention unnerving that it felt like he was looking at me. Every time the train jolted I hoped he'd be jerked awake, partly because I was beginning to wonder if he was asleep and not having a fit or something.

After a while I figured he seemed alright and not about to swallow his tongue, but he was still freaking me out. He looked like Ash in the Evil Dead where he gets possessed by the evil dead spirit, or like the zombies in Shaun of the Dead. Sitting there, staring at me with his undead, zombie eyes I began to look through my bag to see what I could beat him to death with, if it came to that. In the end I figured I could either beat him round the head with a book called Feel Happy Now, or with one of my very stylish Tom Wolfe shoes.

It was very difficult. I had to at once keep an eye on him to make sure he wasn't getting out of his seat to try and bite me, but at the same time not stare at him because he was giving me the creeps, staring at me with his unseeing, half-closed eyes -- and because he might wake up at any moment and wonder why I was staring at him. So I had to look intently at the advert above his head, and only occasionally glance down at him. When he did occasionally wake up open his eyes it was almost as bad -- like watching someone with a Jekyll and Hyde personality.

I don't think he noticed me staring, and I never had to try and remove his head.

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